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BRINGING A BABY INTO THE WORLD IS A BIG DECISION FOR ANY COUPLE. HERE ARE KEY QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER BEFORE YOU AND YOUR PARTNER TAKE THE PLUNGE INTO PARENTHOOD… BEGIN A DIALOGUE “I T IS ACTUALLY A RATHER DIFFICULT THING TO KNOW WHEN THE RIGHT MOMENT IN A COUPLE’S LIFE IS TO INTRODUCE A THIRD INTO THE RELATIONSHIP,” SAYS MICHAEL KALLENBACH, A JOHANNESBURG-BASED COUPLES THERAPIST. Text Julia Lamberti CONTENTS | 4 BETTER PREGNANCY ARE YOU READY FOR A BABY?
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“Every couple has to make that decision for themselves and, most importantly, together.” The first part of this decision-making process involves initiating open discussions about whether you and your partner want a child and why. These conversations not only provide a platform to explore important perspectives from both partners but they also allow you to highlight any fears or concerns that you may have around parenthood. Areas to cover in these initial discussions could include: • Positive and negative childhood experiences • Your biggest fears about having a child • The number of children you envision yourself having • How you would like to parent a child • What your expectations of each other are as parents • What roles you will both play in the parenting journey “However, these talks can be particularly tricky if one partner doesn’t feel ready to have a child,” adds Michael. “That’s perhaps when you should go to a therapist to talk about your decision and what your hesitations and differences are.” ASSESS IF YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS BABY READY “It is important to assess the stage or state of the marriage or relationship before embarking on parenthood,” advises Michael. “I think often one in the couple decides that they want a child and they don’t always reflect on the consequences or what it means to bring someone into the world.” To better assess if your relationship is ready to welcome a little one, consider asking yourself the following questions: • How stable is your relationship right now? • How well do you communicate with one another? • How do you handle stress, disagreements, and conflicts? • Have you felt emotionally supported by your partner during challenging times? • Will you both be comfortable with the lifestyle changes that come with having a child? • How will having a child affect your personal goals and aspirations? • How will you continue to nurture your relationship after having a child? CONTENTS | 5 BETTER PREGNANCY
